Kingdom

Every time I walk past Kingdom I can't help but appreciate the irony that it's above The Early Learning Centre. One can see the inevitable progression of life, from the innocent apple of the parents' eye to fruit–flavoured schnapps and debauchery in Kingdom. You see, Kingdom truly is the Mecca of alcohol abuse, aggressive drunken dancing and semi–consensual sexual molestation. Make sure you're wearing shoes and shirt collars if male or a very short skirt and boob tube if female – for the term 'Dress Code Nazis' was invented for the doormen on patrol here. God bless 'em.

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